VNC through ssh using Mojave Catalina or Big Sur

If you can make an ssh connection, then the following should work:

ssh -L 55900:localhost:5900 username@remote.mac.address

Now from the Finder -> Go (menu) -> Connect to server -> vnc://localhost:55900

This should work. The 55900 is just a random large value that is unlikely to be in use as a TCP/IP port number. It can be any large value less than 65534, and greater than 1024. The 5900 is the port I assume the remote Mac's Screen Sharing is listening on.

The vnc://localhost:55900 will start a local Screen Sharing session connecting to the local port 55900 that is your local entrance to the ssh tunnel, and it will exit at port 5900 on the remote Mac which should be the port the remote Mac's Screen Sharing is listening on.

I've done this many times between my Mac and my Mom's iMac 300 miles away across the internet.

ssh -L 50548:localhost:548 username@remote.mac.address

Finder -> Go (menu) -> afp://localhost:50548

for an SMB server

ssh -L 50139:localhost:139 username@remote.mac.address

Finder -> Go (menu) -> smb://localhost:139

Again, the 50548 and 50139 are just local TCP/IP ports that are not used for anything (well not typically). The 548 is the AFP server port, and the 139 is the SMB server port.

Also from a local Terminal session (not the one you ssh'ed into the remote Mac) you can also issue

open vnc://localhost:55900
open afp://localhost:50548
open smb://localhost:50139

There are other ways to make the connections, but I'm not going to try an detail them here.

Actually:

ssh -L 55900:localhost:5900 -L 50548:localhost:548 -L 50139:localhost:139 username@remote.mac.address

does it all on 1 ssh command line. You can stack as many tunnels as you like (well I guess there might be a limit, but above 3 are not even close).

For SMB try port 445 instead of 139. But NOTE: I got both 139 and 445 to work from my personal mac to my company Mac. But from the Company Mac to my personal Mac neither worked, because the company makes me run a commercial Anti-Virus package, and its firewall interferes with local and remote connections. If you have any A/V package, firewall, LittleSnitch, or even the macOS Firewall installed/enabled, that may interfere with your file server connections.

As to AFP, you made a connection. It is now up to the remote Mac to offer what it is going to offer. Play with the Remote Mac's System Preferences -> Sharing -> File Sharing -> Options..., and Shared Folders, and Users