How can a family member purchase in the App Store but not use the organizers debit card? How do they just use your own debit card or credit card?

They can use Apple Accout balance but not their own card..

The payment method for Family Sharing is automatic:

1. If anybody in the family buys or subscribes to something, Apple first attempts to charge the item to that individual's Apple ID balance, if any.

2. If a family member does not have enough personal balance, any excess will be charged to the Family Organizer's primary payment method (usually a card of some kind). The Organizer's personal balance will not be used for purchases made by other family members. If it cannot bill the primary payment method then it will just work its way down the Organizer's list of payment methods until it finds one it can.

- "Some purchases, including gifts, can't be billed to Apple ID balance and will be charged to the family organizer's payment method." "Some subscriptions might not be charged to Apple ID balance."

Ref:

- Family purchases and payments - https://support.apple.com/HT201079

- How App Store and iTunes Store purchases are billed - https://support.apple.com/HT201359

- Check your Apple ID balance - https://support.apple.com/HT202359

I don't care if people take liberties, I do care when Apple, Amazon, Microshite take liberties. Here they are removing my personal liberty. All I want to do is make a in-app purchase and I can't do it as "they" won't let me use my CC and it would be illegal to use the organiser's card.

This is ridiculous Apple... Is there no solution?

We want the family sharing on for Iphotos, backups etc but do not need any of these other 'benefits'

This is an absolute joke. Fix this apple.

There is nothing to fix. It is likely intentional to stop people from taking liberties with the definition of "family".