Phone disabled
can i unlock my phone with out resetting it and if how
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No.
If your device is disabled or you forgot your passcode, you will need to erase your device
Follow the steps in this article:
If you forgot the passcode on your iPhone, or your iPhone is disabled - Apple Support
If you have a backup you can restore it from that
Restore your iPhone, iPad, or iPod touch from a backup - Apple Support
Good luck!