new iPad and apple pencil won't connect

Correct. The iPad9 supports the first generation Apple Pencil.

Here is the definitive compatibility list for the Apple Pencil and iPad:

Apple Pencil compatibility - Apple Support

The first and second generation Pencil use an entirely different pairing and charging interface. The second generation Pencil can only be used with iPad models that have the magnetic/inductive dock that is exclusively designed for the Pencil. Charging is controlled via the iPad magnetic dock.

The first generation Apple Pencil, compatible with your iPad9, uses the physical Lightning port for both pairing and charging the first generation Pencil.

Apple Pencil models are not interchangeable - and can only be used with the iPad that has appropriate internal hardware

You purchased the wrong version Apple Pen in cil.

You need to purchase the original, 1st gen Apple Pencil with the silver/chromed top band with protective, magnetic Apple Lightning connector cap.

Sorry & Good Luck to You!