when I plug my iphone into my mac I want to be able to see the apps on my phones screens and I don'ts

The ability to manage iPhone apps using iTunes on a computer was discontinued when iTunes 12.7 was releases in 2017.

I haven't hooked my iPhone to a computer for several years. I use iCloud for things I used to connect to a computer for. However some people still do for backup: How to back up your iPhone, iPad, and iPod touch with your Mac - Apple Support

or for syncing: Sync your iPhone, iPad, or iPod using your computer - Apple Support

To run a backup to that computer as an alternative to backing it up to iCloud.

Ref: How to back up your iPhone, iPad, and iPod touch with your Mac - Apple Support