i have an ipad i want to turn off Find My but i do not have the Apple ID password of the Find My password

You cannot disable the iPad’s Activation Lock (i.e., disable Find My) without using the AppleID credentials that were used to last successfully activate the iPad.

If you have the necessary documentation, Apple have introduced a portal though which you may be able to request release of an Activation Lock:

How to remove Activation Lock - Apple Support & start an Activation Lock support request.

If you have forgotten your AppleID credentials, they can be recovered by the owner here:

https://iforgot.apple.com

To recover your credentials, you’ll need access to one of the following:

• Your primary email address mailbox that corresponds with your AppleID
• Any of the secondary/recovery email addresses that should be configured for your AppleID account
• Any of the trusted telephone numbers (fixed line or Cellular/Mobile) that are associated with your AppleID

Unless you AppleID account has not been fully/correctly configured, or has been seriously neglected, recovery of the AppleID and password should not be difficult.

More information about recovery of your AppleID:

If you forgot your Apple ID - Apple Support

More information about recovery of your AppleID password:

If you forgot your Apple ID password - Apple Support

When you recover access to your credentials, you would be well advised to log-in to your AppleID account from a web browser - and verify/update any email addresses and trusted telephone numbers:

https://appleid.apple.com

you can't

the activation lock is not really on the ipad it's a theft protection measure on apples servers

it needs to be removed

How to remove Activation Lock - Apple Support

if you don't know your appleID Recover Your Apple ID - Apple

if that does not help you then you need the assistance of apple

Additional Support - Activation Lock (apple.com)

and or

Get Support (apple.com) ,

And or

 Genius Bar Reservation and Apple Support Options - Apple