I can’t find my sons phone. His setting say not sharing but I can’t access his Apple ID in his phone

Use any internet browser and log into www.icloud.com/find using his Apple ID and password.

Also see the following Apple articles for information about lost or stolen iPhones or iPads: If your iPhone, iPad, or iPod touch is lost or stolen - Apple Support and

Use the Find My app to locate a missing device or item - Apple Support

your son would need to go to the "Find my" app and hit the + on the peoples tab and hit share my location. then share his location with you. Apple has no way of giving you someones log in information, but if he lets you then here is Apples instructions on how to do it. Find people and share your location with Find My - Apple Support