I feel you.
I'll start and say to my knowledge, while applying this to my getting a new iphone 15 plus (running 1OS 17.4 ) and macbook pro 2017 touch bar (running Ventura 13.6), and verifying both devices OS' are up-to-date, at the price points of these devices, Apple's native apps' functions between devices should not have this issue for this many people.
Both of my devices automatically have sync toggled on upon purchase/upgrade. However the syning has ceased eons ago for me with other devs and it's just kept going with these two aforementioned devs I have now and yes, I def gave up trying to address it myself.
I've followed the prompts and instructions found both online here, and will now add YT to the arsenal of research, address this issue myself. I don't know if this keeps Apple competitive and at the forefront of updates to show they care or what, but I cannot lose notes because whoever at Apple refuses to create confirmation pop-up notifications to confirm when native apps+syncing are toggled on or off or that there is a malfunction in the software while not offering a readily available prompt when the system is triggered when a user is attempting to Export or synch devs' native OS apps, like notes.
So hopefully my iphone 15 plus and macbook pro (2017) running on Ventura 13.6 will make it into the "well it worked for me" pile eventually. But until then, I guess me and other 200+ supporters of Apple will have to just keep the pencil and paper companies in business lol
[Edited by Moderator]