I lost the ability to activate the delete immediately with the option key

It's the same in Tahoe as it was in Sequoia, the contextual menu for a file/folder with or without the Option key pressed just gives the Move to Trash option. Sonoma was the last macOS to have Delete Immediately in the contextual menu.

You can still select the file and use the keyboard shortcut Command-Option-Delete to 'immediately' delete a file, except that it's not exactly immediate since you still have to click Delete in the dialog box that pops up.

But in that case, the file/folder does not go to the Trash and thus you do on need to empty the Trash with all the other files in it to permanently delete that one file, which I presume is your goal here.