How do I recover my screen time passcode

Sorry, but you’re not going to like the answer...

If you have forgotten your ScreenTime Passcode, there is no way to recover it - period. Once forgotten, the only available mechanism is to reset your iPad and set-up again as new. Unfortunately, if, following reset, you attempt to restore your data from your iCloud or iTunes backup (assuming you have one), you will also restore the ScreenTime Passcode that you have evidently forgotten - putting you right back where you are now.

So, your options are either (a) remember your ScreenTime Passcode, or (b) reset your iPad and start again.

Again, sorry, but those are the only solutions to your dilemma. Had you instead forgotten your device Passcode, then more [less destructive] options would have been available to you.

Hello,

Please refer to the following Apple Support documents.

If you forgot the passcode for your iPhone, iPad, or iPod touch, or your device is disabled - Apple Support

If you can't update or restore your iPhone, iPad, or iPod touch - Apple Support