my wife forgot her apple id and password how can we reset

For Problems With Your Apple ID

1. Forgot iCloud Password
2. Forgot Apple ID
3. iForgot Password - Apple ID
4. iForgot UserName - Apple ID
5. Apple ID Password Change
6. Apple ID Name Change
7. Apple ID - Apple Support
8. Manage your Apple ID primary, rescue, alternate, and notification email addresses
9. About your Apple ID email addresses
10. Get help with Apple ID
11. Contact Apple for help with Apple ID account security - Apple Support
12. What to do after you change your Apple ID email address or password - Apple Support

Reset Security Questions

Contact Apple for help with Apple ID account security

If you forgot the answers to your Apple ID security questions - Apple Support

You may need to reach Apple’s Account Security department. If you cannot find your country or are not able to call, then complete this form and send it to them.

Try using Apple's iForgot service. If it says they don't have sufficient information, you need to contact Apple's Account Security team. To reach them, click here and pick a method; if you can't use any of the ones listed, fill out and submit this form.

Are you seeing Activation Lock. If yes, then see:

Turn off Activation Lock  https://support.apple.com/en-us/HT201441 “If you erase your device without signing out of iCloud first, it might still be protected by Activation Lock. Whether you erased your own device or … [got] one from someone else, you can only turn off Activation Lock by entering the correct Apple ID and password.”

So, if you don't know the correct Apple ID and password, use Having trouble signing in/iForgot https://iforgot.apple.com/password/verify/appleid to try to identify each.

Ultimately you are likely to have to Use recovery mode to restore your iPhone if it can be restored.