How do I remove the screen time pass code that was enabled without my request?

I upgraded from an iphone 7+ to an iphone 11 several months ago. Yesterday, I attempted to reset the 7+ so I could give to a family member. I could not reset the phone because it required a screen time passcode to complete the process. (WHY) I never setup this restriction! Both of these phones have been upgraded to iOS 14.2 so I tried to do the steps to change the passcode. Another fail. I have input my apple id and passcode and selected the change passcode only for it to log as a failed attempt to enter the correct screen time pass code( I have 13 failed attempts on the 11 and 17 failed attempts on the 7+). I am beyond frustrated with apple!!! Now my apple id is grayed out on both devices and will not allow me to sign out on either devide. How do I fix this? I have searched on the internet and found some cases where people download a third party software to fix this but I am afraid to do that in this era where cyber crimes are endless. My apple id is also linked to an ipad mini(1st gen - iOS 9.3) and a series 1 apple watch. Please help me!!!!!!!!