hello, my old iPhone is still logged into iCloud and its refusing to let me SIGN OUT. its not an option so i can't erase the phone. how can i do it?

Does it say why it is refusing?

Have you also tried this way? --> Erase a device in Find My iPhone on iCloud.com - https://support.apple.com/guide/icloud/erase-your-device-mmfc0ef36f/icloud - "... you can erase it if you set up Find My iPhone on the device before it was lost." "When you remotely erase a device, Activation Lock remains on to protect it. "

Have you checked Settings/Screen Time for any restrictions?