Numbers, Pages, and Keynote crash immediately on launch (2020 M1 Mac Mini)

Just got a brand new M1 Mac Mini (2020) today. I opted for a clean install and did not restore from Time Machine. To my surprise, I'm experiencing a nearly immediate crash on launch for Keynote, Pages, and Numbers. If starting by clicking on the application, I get as far as the document select screen. If starting by opening an existing document, I'll see a brief glimpse of the document before the crash. All other apps seem to work normally (so far), from other Apple apps like GarageBand and iMovie, to heavier stuff like Steam and Blender. The crash appears to be specific to these applications, with no flashing screen or other signs of hardware trouble.

Remedies I have tried, to no avail:

• Boot into Safe Mode (same behavior)
• Delete (including the relevant contents of ~/Library/Containers/ for each app) and reinstall each app from the App Store
• Font Book > Restore Standard Fonts
• Unmount external drives before app launch

A representative crash log:

Process:               Numbers [1389]
Path:                  /Applications/Numbers.app/Contents/MacOS/Numbers
Identifier:            com.apple.iWork.Numbers
Version:               11.1 (7031.0.102)
Build Info:            Numbers-7031000102000000~2 (1A104)
App Item ID:           409203825
App External ID:       842170571
Code Type:             ARM-64 (Native)
Parent Process:        ??? [1]
Responsible:           Numbers [1389]
User ID:               501

Date/Time:             2021-06-07 21:57:18.380 -0400
OS Version:            macOS 11.2.3 (20D91)
Report Version:        12
Anonymous UUID:        2A5CC66F-07E0-4395-A43D-BE7770D7436D


Time Awake Since Boot: 1900 seconds

System Integrity Protection: enabled

Crashed Thread:        1  Dispatch queue: com.apple.CoreText.fontdescriptorMatching

Exception Type:        EXC_BREAKPOINT (SIGTRAP)
Exception Codes:       EXC_ARM_BREAKPOINT at 0x0000000196b687bc (brk 1)
Exception Note:        EXC_CORPSE_NOTIFY

Termination Signal:    Trace/BPT trap: 5
Termination Reason:    Namespace SIGNAL, Code 0x5
Terminating Process:   exc handler [1389]

Application Specific Backtrace 1:
0   CoreFoundation                      0x000000019406e320 __exceptionPreprocess + 240
1   libobjc.A.dylib                     0x0000000193d9cc04 objc_exception_throw + 60
2   CoreFoundation                      0x0000000194135064 -[__NSCFString characterAtIndex:].cold.1 + 0
3   CoreFoundation                      0x000000019413530c -[__NSCFBoolean compare:].cold.1 + 0
4   CoreFoundation                      0x0000000193fc6c10 -[__NSCFNumber objCType] + 0
5   CoreFoundation                      0x0000000193fc6a10 -[__NSCFNumber isEqualToNumber:] + 32
6   CoreText                            0x000000019566a1f0 +[FontAssetDownloadManager filterIncompatibleAsset:] + 832
7   CoreText                            0x000000019566a5cc +[FontAssetDownloadManager availableMobileAssetsWithOptions:error:] + 848
8   CoreText                            0x000000019566ab2c +[FontAssetDownloadManager availableMobileAssetsWithOptions:manager:error:] + 76
9   CoreText                            0x0000000195668a68 -[FontAssetDownloadManager mobileAssetsForUnmatched:] + 148
10  CoreText                            0x0000000195668790 -[FontAssetDownloadManager downloadFontAssets] + 84
11  CoreText                            0x000000019566cf94 __CTFontDescriptorMatchFontDescriptorsWithProgressHandler_block_invoke + 36
12  libdispatch.dylib                   0x0000000193d478bc _dispatch_call_block_and_release + 32
13  libdispatch.dylib                   0x0000000193d49420 _dispatch_client_callout + 20
14  libdispatch.dylib                   0x0000000193d5077c _dispatch_lane_serial_drain + 580
15  libdispatch.dylib                   0x0000000193d512cc _dispatch_lane_invoke + 408
16  libdispatch.dylib                   0x0000000193d5b3fc _dispatch_workloop_worker_thread + 708
17  libsystem_pthread.dylib             0x0000000193ef2060 _pthread_wqthread + 276
18  libsystem_pthread.dylib             0x0000000193ef0d94 start_wqthread + 8