I need access to messages I deleted from my phone

No. Once deleted, they are gone forever.

You could restore your phone back to a backup you previously made, but that will be at the expense of anything new since that backup. https://support.apple.com/en-us/HT204184

If you use messages in iCloud (Use Messages in iCloud - Apple Support) deletions are instant and permanent. With messages in iCloud enabled, messages are also no longer part of an iTunes or iCloud backup.