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Invite Fails when I try to add family to home kit

I see this in discussions in the past, but it seems to still be a problem. Both my wife and I have updated iPhone 12s. When I start a new home and invite her, my user suddenly becomes only a “resident” , no longer owner/resident. She gets the invite but it hangs on her acceptance and never completes the joining of her. Obviously, I’ve restarted the phones and all of that. Any fix for this?

iPhone 12 Pro

Posted on Mar 7, 2022 1:45 PM

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Posted on Mar 8, 2022 3:46 PM

Sounds like you are sharing your iCloud on your wife's iPhone for media such as iTunes / Music / etc. While her main iCloud account is her own account. Sharing accounts like this is something people did a long time ago and then Apple added Family Sharing and it's no longer necessary.


I would recommend signing out of Music Home Sharing on the wife's iPhone by going to Settings -> Music and scroll all the way down. You will see Home Sharing and Apple ID:. If that account is your account and not your wife's account, sign out of that account and sign on with your wife's iCloud account.

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Question marked as Top-ranking reply

Mar 8, 2022 3:46 PM in response to Don O. Knowlton

Sounds like you are sharing your iCloud on your wife's iPhone for media such as iTunes / Music / etc. While her main iCloud account is her own account. Sharing accounts like this is something people did a long time ago and then Apple added Family Sharing and it's no longer necessary.


I would recommend signing out of Music Home Sharing on the wife's iPhone by going to Settings -> Music and scroll all the way down. You will see Home Sharing and Apple ID:. If that account is your account and not your wife's account, sign out of that account and sign on with your wife's iCloud account.

Mar 8, 2022 5:38 AM in response to Don O. Knowlton

Both iPhones on iOS version 15.3.1?


Both iPhones are connected to the homes Wi-Fi?


Both individual iCloud accounts?


Both associated with Family Sharing?


You are the Organizer and the wife is a Parent/Guardian?


When you click the + in HomeKit is your wife listed as Family ready to be selected or do you have to add her email manually?


Check HomeKit App on both devices and start over, remove the configurations, start on your device as the primary then invite the wife.


Depending on what HomeKit accessories you have, such as Hue. You may need to enable "Out of home control" (Internet access to your HomeKit accessories) using the Apps for the accessories themselves. e.g. The Hue App, etc. You only need to set this option if the wife is not in the same physical home or if you or the wife wish to control your accessories when you are not at home on the wifi.

Mar 8, 2022 10:08 AM in response to James Brickley

All the suggestions above, I have done (for the record, my wife is the Family Organizer), but no matter if I or she initiates a new home, the other family members are listed automatically as available and we can invite them.


Here's the problem - I can see this happen in real time - if either of us invites the other from a new fresh Home, immediately after inviting the other, the "inviter" goes from being the "Resident (owner)" to just "Resident" and then the invitee never completes the joining - it just spins and never joins. Even if I cancel the join, the original Owner is just a Resident - no one is the Owner anymore.


So, here's the weird thing: I had my daughter's iPhone start a new home and invite the two of us. She does not get the Resident/Owner error and we can both join. OK, but once the second of us joins, it seems to merge the two of us into one "person". Our phones only show our daughter as the Owner and then ourselves - not the other parent - in fact it has merged my wife and I as a single user under the Home. We can use the Home somewhat normally.


In my wife's detail view - in small grey text under her name - it says: "iCloud: her-email@mac.com" and then "Media: my-email@mac.com". Although my daughter has made both of us Admins, we are not allowed to add Accessories. And Recognize my Voice seems weird - I cannot make personal requests...


Here is where the issue may be: I am the main iCloud account, but my wife is the family organizer. This seems to be where it is screwing up, maybe??

Mar 9, 2022 8:43 PM in response to James Brickley

Hello. (Thank you for helping me here, btw)


so, that did not work. Same exact results (restarted, set both Home Music Sharing to her account, then both to mine, signed out of both.) Nope.


even when signed out of Home Music Sharing on both (and restarting both), when I invite her to a Home and she accepts, I change to resident and her name and the in the detail page header is her name and below in large type my name and then the iCloud: her address Media: my address.

Invite Fails when I try to add family to home kit

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