Family Sharing - Purchase Sharing

Unless your wife turned off purchase sharing the only other way I can think of this happening would be a glitch in Apple's servers reporting the sharing status. Refer to this document for ways to contact Apple --> Choose your country or region - Official Apple Support

Select your country (also look for "other" regions), then a product. If you don't see one that handles your issue then keep experimenting with selections until you reach one that gets you a chat session or a telephone call and get the representative to redirect you.

or:

Contact Apple for support and service by telephone --> Contact Apple for support and service - Apple Support

I'll post about things you can do if you think your Apple ID is compromised but I don't know if somebody would be able to delete your calls even if they could log into your ID. They would have to have physical access to your phone.

Read this document if you think your Apple ID has been compromised. --> If you think your Apple ID has been compromised - Apple Support

For iOS 15 or earlier, if you want to see if anyone else has access to your device or accounts, click here --> See who has access to your iPhone or iPad - Apple Support

For iOS 16 or later see how Safety Check on iPhone works to keep you safe. How Safety Check on iPhone works to keep you safe - Apple Support

Related materials:

Personal Safety User Guide

Personal Safety User Guide - Apple Support

> open the Table of Contents and review the articles

A document with general information about security and your Apple ID --> Security and your Apple ID - Apple Support

Contact Apple for help with Apple ID account security by clicking on this link --> Contact Apple for help with Apple ID account security - Apple Support "This article provides country-specific Apple Support contact information for customers seeking help with their Apple ID password or other security-related issues."