HOW TO RESET YOUR PASSWORD WHEN YOU CAN'T USE YOUR PHONE

How do I reset my password for my Apple ID when I can't use my cell phone as I am locked out as owner. I have chatted with help. Apple says to use Iforgot.apple.com but they insist on using the cell phone number to send a code before they will let you give a new password. During the chats I have explained that I am locked out of the cell phone. They are keeping me a vicious cycle. Help. This is for my husband's cell phone 8SE, I think. It started when I tried to bring is phone's IOS up-to-date and put in what he told me his password was. That was the beginning of a downward spiral and a lock-out on the phone and Apple.