sharing and syncing contacts between two apple ids

Right now I'm trying to keep my apple contacts, my google contacts, and my husbands google contacts in sync. It just doesn't work or I havent figured it out. I'm trying to use google as an intermediary. It works to a point but I keep having double or triple contacts and missing contacts. Its a pain......

I woud like to start using my apple icloud contacts as my default account and have it sync with his apple icloud. So far famiy sharing hasn't worked for this or I havent set it up right. He doens't get the apps or music automatically downloaded with family sharing and his contacts haven't synced at all with my apple contacts.

Is there a way to keep all of my contacts and the ones he adds to his synced between all of our devices, both his and mine?

TIA

BTW I have a backup .vcf saved so I can delete all contacts from everywhere and start over if needed.