iPhone 14 not connecting to Apple Car Play and Bluetooth on Sony XAV-AX3000 stereo

I FIGURED IT OUT!!!

I turned off my VPN and it started working! I don’t understand why but my VPN is somehow interfering with CarPlay! I turned my VPN off, opened Maps, the unit recognized my iPhone and loaded CarPlay. After CarPlay was connected, I turned my VPN back on and it worked (CarPlay) fine. But every time I disconnected from the car I had to go through the same process again to get CarPlay to work.

I also had an issue with my car stereo mic not working as well, turned off the VPN—and you guessed it, it started working again!

I have the same problem with my iPhone 14 and my XAV-AX3000. One more twist to my situation: my wife's iPhone 12 connects right up, both are using iOS 18.3.2, both using the same cord without resetting anything on either phone or the stereo. I plug in my iPhone 14 and CarPlay isn't available-- my wife pugs in her iPhone 12 and it pops right up.

I have verified that the stereo is listed in the CarPlay app, I have deleted my phone and the stereo from each other and reloaded--still nothing. I have confirmed all setting on both phones are the same.

Forgot to add, we have tried 3 different lightning cords--all work with my wife's phone, car play doesn't show available with any of them on my phone