the balance shows up in my app store but when completing order for applecare, it is still asking me to use my primary card payment but I thought any account balance would be primary payment method by default? Am I missing a step?
You cannot start an AppleCare+ subscription with your Account Balance, but it can be used for future payments.
What you can buy with your Apple Gift Card or Apple Account balance - Apple Support
oh interesting, i didn't know that, have seen it in other discussions! does it mean any subscriptions i have on file now like apple tv etc will just pull from the balance now?
Yes.
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Redeemed giftcard on app store but can't use it to buy applecare
