Retrieving data from iphone xs max while on recovery/restore mode

Need help!

So I just got a new phone and was trying to data transfer my Iphone XS Max to my new Iphone 16 pro max. Data transfer failed cause it said i needed to back up my icloud. Apple offers unlimited icloud storage so i can transfer it. Worst mistake tbh, even tho i tried to cancel the back up. It caused my old phone to go into a boot loop. It kept turning on and off. itunes wouldn’t even recognize my phone so i could back it up. Apple support told me i would need to put it in recovery mode so I can update it by using my PC with Apple Devices. It failed in the middle of the update giving me an 1109 error. now it’s stuck on the connect to computer restore screen every time i restart my phone. I’m really trying to avoid to reset it so I can recovery some of the data since I have very important stuff that was in my old phone and I can’t retrieve some of my data to transfer to my new phone so some things are locked and can’t access them. I’ve looked up and did lot of research. Apple support chat online wasn’t much help cause they told me to put it in recovery mode. I haven’t went back to the apple store yet cause i’m afraid that their only method is just to reset it to factory settings. Any advice?? Thank you!