Some of the features you abhor, such as 'Offload Unused Apps' are little more than a checkbox in a setting. it's on, or it's off. There is nothing to 'remove' (unless you count the checkbox, but there's no control over that).
Some of the apps you mention do nothing unless you invoke them (Freeform, Playground, etc.), so don't invoke them and you'll never have to worry about them.
If you're really worried about even seeing their icon on your apps screen, you can move them to some other folder to get them out of the way. You might be able to remove them, but they'll likely be reinstalled on a future software update, so just move them and forget about them.
If you want pixel-level control over your phone, buy an Android device.