Notifications not working when Focus is set up on iPhone 14

The scenario described could indicate that there are two separate phone numbers involved in the messaging process. If the first message doesn't trigger a notification, it might be because the contact's first number isn't included in your notification settings or "Focus" preferences. When she sends a second message from another number, and that number is allowed through your "Focus" settings, that's why you receive notifications for the second message.

It's possible that your Focus settings or Do Not Disturb settings are configured in a way that allows messages from one number (the second one) to show up, but not the first. This could happen if you've specifically allowed messages from certain contacts or numbers while silencing others. You might want to check your Focus settings and notification preferences to see if they are set to handle notifications differently for different contacts or phone numbers.