Calendar alerts fail on Mac due to CloudKit throttling

I am on Tahoe, macbook pro

Calendar has been unreliable for the last 2 years. What I have noticed is when my alerts stop working, and i run this command

log show --last 20m --predicate 'process == "remindd"'

there are many messages about throttling and cloudkit sync. When the calendar is working, there are none of these messages

2025-12-02 19:34:42.293068+0200 0x277a9 Error 0x0 6484 0 remindd: [com.apple.reminderkit:utility] Throttler denied operation {identifier: CloudKit Sync, op: SyncInterface(AppDelegate), remainingTimeInterval: 21.8340, throttleResetDate: 2025-12-02 17:35:04 +0000}

2025-12-02 19:34:42.293084+0200 0x277a9 Default 0x0 6484 0 remindd: [com.apple.reminderkit:xpc] XPCSyncInterface.SyncCloudKit: Dropping CloudKit sync Request {discretionary: false, reason: AppDelegate}

2025-12-02 19:34:42.293252+0200 0x277a9 Error 0x0 6484 0 remindd: [com.apple.reminderkit:utility] Throttler denied operation {identifier: DataAccess Sync, op: nil, remainingTimeInterval: 21.8349, throttleResetDate: 2025-12-02 17:35:04 +0000}

I don't use icloud, and I don't want anything synced. I just want a local calendar on my mac. Any ideas on why when i don't use icloud it is still trying CloudKit sync

Thank you in advance to anyone who can help