how can i get through the activation lock on my iphone xsmax?

You can try reaching out to Apple using the Contact Us link in the upper right corner; this forum is just fellow users so we can't help with unlocking phones.

So sorry this is happening - good luck!

~Lyssa

Activation Lock is an anti-theft measure that you can't bypass without the original owner's help.

Are you the original owner?

~Lyssa

If you have the original receipt, you can take that to an Apple store and they should be able to help.

~Lyssa