can you help me update my ipad air

Your iPad Air has NOT been upgraded/updated in a very long time.

You need to connect your iPad to a full computer, connected to the Internet, using the latest version of iTunes and letting iTunes upgrade your iPad Air to its current, maximum iOS version of iOS 12.4.6.

Best of Luck to You!

To see the currently installed version of iOS, go to Settings > General > Software Update. 

You can try to check for updates by following these steps provided below: 

Update iOS automatically 

Go to Settings > General > Software Update > Automatic Updates, then turn on Automatic Updates. 

iPhone will automatically install updates, and you'll be notified before the update occurs.  

Update iPhone manually 

Go to Settings > General > Software Update > Automatic Updates, then turn off Automatic Updates. 

At any time, you can check for and install software updates. Go to Settings > General > Software Update. The screen shows the currently installed version of iOS and whether an update is available. 

The Poster's iPad Air is too far behind in iOS upgrades/updates to use your method.

The Poster needs to use iTunes on a computer to perform the upgrade of their iPad Air.