why cant i download or update my apps even after trying all the steps i was given ?

If your account is disabled in iTunes you will need to contact apple to be able to unlock it.

More info in this article:

If you see a message that says 'Your account has been disabled in the App Store and iTunes' - Apple Support

Use the link in the article to contact apple or:

Contact Apple for support and service - Apple Support

Good luck!

If your account isn't disabled, see the Apple Support article(s) below.

Apps won’t downloaded. 

App Store, iTunes Store, or other Apple services - If you can't connect      

Some things you can try. Do you have access to another WiFi network where you can try? That has worked for several people.

Try a restart.

Restart your iPhone, iPad, or iPod touch         

Try a forced restart.

Reset Device.      

If necessary

Hard reset.        

Do a backup and try a factory reset. Then restore from your backup.

Restore to Factory setting.      

Restore - If you see an error when you update or restore your iPhone, iPad, or iPod

Backup - Restore your device from an iCloud or iTunes backup.