How to find out if I am being hacked?

Here are the Apple articles on related topics:

Checklist: If you want to stop sharing with someone whom you previously shared with - Apple Support

Checklist: If you want to make sure no one else can see your location - Apple Support

Checklist: If you want to see if anyone else has access to your device or accounts - Apple Support

Device and Data Access when Personal Safety is At Risk

If there is any chance that any of your passwords are known, or if your cellular carrier PIN is known, or passwords on your email are known, or if your device passcode is known, change them. (When that change doesn’t cause you more direct risks.) If others have installed apps, remove them.

One of the ways we’re targeted is phishing:

Recognize and avoid phishing messages, phony support calls, and other scams - Apple Support

If any person in your life is doing this, move them (gently, cautiously, respectfully, or otherwise) out of your life and at your earliest convenience. Or if that’s not feasible, “forget” your iPhone or “forget to charge” your iPhone as appropriate and where possible. Also consider contact with the local victims’ services organizations,