Hey there johncap523,
Thanks for reaching out to the Apple Support Communities.
To get started, has your wife had a chance to update to iOS 16.3 that was released recently? If not, since updating can often bring the latest features, security updates, and bug fixes, we would recommend updating to the latest iOS version, and test the issue again.
For help with updating, check out this link here: Update your iPhone or iPad - Apple Support
Update your iPhone or iPad wirelessly
1. Back up your device using iCloud or your computer.
2. Plug your device into power and connect to the internet with Wi-Fi.
3. Go to Settings > General, then tap Software Update.
4. If you see more than one software update option available, choose the one that you want to install.
5. Tap Install Now. If you see Download and Install instead, tap it to download the update, enter your passcode, then tap Install Now. If you don't know your passcode, learn what to do.
If still having issues after updating to the latest iOS version, or if the iPhone is already up-to-date, does your wife see a message showing "Loading Accessories and Scenes" when opening the Home app?
If so, and if the message remains on the display for longer than 30 minutes, we'd recommend reaching out to Apple Support directly from this link here: Get Support - Apple
They would be the best option to work with you closer on the issue from there.
As for the other issue you mentioned, when you say that you lose two automations, are two accessories being removed from the Home app, you have to set them back up? Keep us updated on the results.
Best regards.
