Trying to up date my phone when I want too not over night

Hello,

There are different ways to ensure the highest iOS that your device will support is installed on your device.

This support article has instructions about updating an iPhone or iPad wirelessly --> Update your iPhone or iPad - Apple Support

You can also use Mac and PC computers to update system software:

Update iOS on iPhone - Apple Support

We assume that you have a good Wi-Fi connection and the battery is at 60% + charge.

Tap Settings > General > Software Update

If an update is available, tap to install.

With a good Wi-Fi connection, allow 20-30 minutes for the installation to complete.