How can I tell if my iPhone 11 is hacked?

I thank you for being respectful and more kind in the way you have given your feedback. Trust me I feel ridiculous enough and I’m embarrassed that I don’t know more and have left myself vulnerable in the past but I am trying to learn and be aware. It’s very different when someone you know has the right friends to do almost anything and I’m just saying in general. I didn’t know about websites that offer keys that can unlock any door and such. When someone is in love with power and control they go that extra mile. He has the computer and what u need to plug up a phone and check it but refuses. I think that is what you do anyway to find if the phones compromised. It would be nice if I had an Apple Store in my area. It’s hard to find places with people that have the patience to help and that’s unfortunate. In reality all I would need I hope (as long as it’s not some deeper issue. SIM card or whatever else can be done to invade privacy.) is to factory reset and properly protect my device and that’s a problem. I can’t use two factor authentication since my phone isn’t active so I’m looking into alternatives. I’m literally looking into taking some type of classes to understand this stuff. I’m 41 and totally lost with technology I have to do something about it. lol.

Thank you and yes I’m getting a lot of great information from everyone here and I appreciate it very much. It does make me feel much better understanding the difference as you explained very well as to gaining access to an account and not the actual device in itself. I thank you and if I do see something that will add to receiving more information that I can screenshot I definitely will.

I know I went on and on I just needed to make sure I was understood as far as where my thinking was and everyone has been so helpful I was trying to hit the up arrow but it stopped me. I appreciate everyone’s honesty and expertise. Thank you again

I’m reading your tip on scams. Just came across it👍🏼