my ipad doesnt have the option to update to ios 13 it says its up to date 9.3.5

Further update, to more recent major version of iOS, isn’t possible for your iPad...

You clearly have an iPad2, iPad3 or original iPad mini. These devices cannot be updated beyond iOS 9.3.5 (WiFi Only models) or iOS 9.3.6 (WiFi & Cellular).

Apple ended update support for these devices in September 2016. None of these models can be updated to iOS 10 or later versions, as the internal hardware does not meet the minimum technical requirements for new versions of iOS/iPadOS. The 32-bit platform upon which these devices are based is effectively obsolete.

Many App Developers have also dropped support for older devices and iOS versions preceding iOS11/12/13 - and have withdrawn older versions of their Apps from the Apple App Store, now limiting utility and usefulness of older devices.

If Apps that you need to use now have higher minimum iOS-version requirements, your only option is to replace your iPad with newer model. Even the basic current iPad7 model supports current iPadOS 13.x and the soon to be released iPadOS14 - and has hardware specifications and capabilities that will vastly outperform your old iPad

I hope this information is helpful - if only in clearly stating the limitations of your current iPad and you available options.

Your iPad is too old.

It is an 8 or 9-year old iPad, now.

These 8 and 9-year old iPad models will soon be rendered OBSOLETE by the end of 2020!

There are, virtually, no more older, compatible, popular, third party apps available to these old iPad models, any longer!

A lot has happened with iPad and iOS in over 9 years and in nearly 4 years since the last iOS 9 version.

Time to consider a new, new refurbished or much, MUCH “newer”, used iPad model, now!

Sorry & Best of Luck to You!

This usually means that your device is not compatible with the software. To check, you can try updating through iTunes, if it can't, then your device is incompatible.