Lost Apple TV remote?!?
How can you possibly enter the 4diget code with out a remote?!?
Apple TV (4th generation)
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For Apple TV (4th generation) you should be getting a code on the TV screen to be entered on the iOS device.
For Apple TV (2nd or 3rd generation) it might be reverse, and you would need a physical remote (borrowed or purchased) to help set up the software remote.