How to detect Spyware on my iPhone?

iOS / iPadOS devices cannot be hacked or infected with Virus / Malware / Spyware if it is updated to the latest iOS/iPadOS unless you have intentionally downloaded spurious software or unauthorized apps directly from the internet and installed them on your device or/and have Jailbroken. 

It (Hacking) also depends on how careful you are in sharing sensitive and valuable information pertaining to your iPhone such as Passcode, Password, etc with your friends and family members.

Be judicious when sharing the device's sensitive and valuable information with friends and family members.

If you don't reckon what is said above is true then you have two options...

1. Report the hacking incident that you are facing to the local law enforcement authorities and follow it up
2. Believe it, it can't be hacked. There are people who still believe that the earth is flat and also some believe no one has ever landed on the moon. What can anyone do about that? This is a free world you can believe in anything, the choice is yours.