I am locked out of backup - iCloud is greyed out

I have tried all the other fixes - screen time restrictions, etc., can't sign out because I'll lose a bunch of photos which haven't been backed up. I haven't been able to back up since last software update, and only have had time now. Those restriction options you're supposed to check say that everything is allowed, yet I still cannot access iCloud. do not appear in my phone - like, they've gone away completely. Also, Find My is inaccessible. What, exactly, is going on here? Help!

[Edited by Moderator]